If you attend church at the Metro you know that we have worship like no other. And if you know me you know that I love my time of worship, it’s just the greatest feeling to just lay it all at His feet and enjoy that moment in His presence. Well, before I get into that I want to give you a little back story on some things that I have been going through lately.
Everything was going great. I had finally found my purpose in life, and I was running with it. I faced some of my greatest fears and I was so optimistic about my future. I had surrendered it all to God and there was no looking back. But as I soon found out, I surrendered, but had I really surrendered all?
See the funny thing about it is that I really thought that I had relinquished everything. I had given my heart, my thoughts, my soul… all of me. But deep down there was still little old me trying to figure out how my story was going to be written. Still wanting to control how my life was supposed to go. I subconsciously, started opening doors that God hadn’t created for me. I started writing and editing my own story, without even consulting with the one who had already written it for me. Now I’m at this place that seemed oh too familiar. And I’m sitting trying to figure out how I got back here, because I had given it all to God. After all I was following His plan for my life.
But I started falling back into some things that I just knew I would never go back to. I began to have insecurities that I thought I had already overcome. I was dumbfounded at how quickly I had slipped back into some of my old ways. This couldn’t be right, this was the new me, the confident me. The one who had found her purpose and was living my life completely sold out to God. I just couldn’t understand where I went wrong.
Now I’m sitting in church dazed and confused. And the praise team begins to sing “I Surrender All”. In that moment I just began to ask God, why? Why am I back in this position? How did this happen? Hadn’t I surrendered my all? He so clearly answered “…you did, but you didn’t”. I had given Him my life but I didn’t completely trust Him to orchestrate it. In Proverbs 3:5-6 it tells us “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 6 in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” My problem was that I trusted that the Lord could do all that His word said He could do. But I didn’t completely believe that He could or would do it for me. So I began to try to figure it out on my own. And I began to lose sight of His direction for my life. I am so grateful for God’s grace and mercy, because even though we may get off we can always pick ourselves up and start fresh. This was my chance to completely and whole heartedly give Him my everything!
My message to you today is to surrender it all to Him. No matter how big or small. You may not understand the process, and it may seem that it is taking a lifetime. But trust that He has a great plan for your life and it’s more amazing than you could ever imagine. So who better to trust with your all then the one, who sees all, knows all, and who is all.